Hello World; I'm seasonally brained.
Recently, I was listening to Debbie Millman interview Seth Godin on the Design Matters podcast. Seth wrote on his new book, The Practice—"a milestone text exploring creativity and the sheer power of doing the work and putting it out into the world." He said something that hit hard, making me want to get this going to start writing.
"It doesn't exist, if it doesn't ship."
I've been trying to create consistency for such a long while to get into the habit of writing. That interview shifted the perspective a bit for me: it's not a habit, it's the practice. I have to start practicing my practice.
This is it.
A bit behind the name permalink
In 2020, I was diagnosed as ADHD. In 2021, after I'd worked to understand my ADHD, I recognized the patterns didn't all add up with what ADHD Twitter described: there was something else. I'm also on the Autistic spectrum.
I'd been thinking it's time for a change of names, urls, handles, etc. but couldn't land one one that felt right. With the Autism revelation, something started going more and more into place.
The ADHD/Autism combo is one that's in constant conflict: absolute chaos battling the desire for order. Now I get why I've identified so much with fictional and nonfictional battles between good and evil, order and chaos.
I also have a strong penchant for natural metaphors. Seasons—or distinct patterns that life moves through its interconnected cycles—are times of chaotic change, still flowing and following similar processes. My interests and passions, while they can seem switching from one day to another in my experience of time, also have an unseen interconnected cycles that come and go. I get deeply interested in something, feel like I know enough for the moment, and move on.
Sometimes those topics become long lasting and becoming part of my natural climate rather than passing weather or storms of interest.
Thus, seasonally brained.
What's different this time? permalink
After figuring out so much about myself the past two years—along with a few massive life changes like becoming engaged and planning what I hope to be a life-long partnership/relationship with my wife and being on burnout leave the past 6 months—I feel that I've finally found my voice.
I feel like I've found "me." Through discovering more of my why's, I've found stronger purpose and, finally, the sense that I am capable. I also finally understand that my frame, experience, and thoughts on the world are not "normal" by any means.
Lastly, I've grown confident in my writing. I have always wanted to write a book. I have quite a few books in me that are waiting to come out. It's possible. If I practice.
So, I'll practice.